International Dating – When Love Really Means Going The Distance!

In today’s society, the world really is getting smaller. As we leap from one technological breakthrough to the next, we find that within micro-seconds we can transfer information from one side of the earth to the other. We can live on one continent and be employed by a company on another. Air-travel means that many people are part of a global workforce that commutes around the globe attending meetings in every international outpost of the company.

This minimizing the world is filtering slowly down through the professional world, and into our personal lives. No longer are we of the mind set that we will one day grow up and marry the boy next door. It happens, but it’s just as likely to marry the boy in the next State, or next country …….or the one who lives on the other side of the world. The Internet is probably the biggest influencing factor on current day international dating.

Throughout history there have been mail-order brides. From the women who were sent to the colonies, to the women who answered small ads from ranchers out west, and more recently, the Russian (and I’m sure other nationalities) who place ads of their own looking for a partner outside of their homelands. Despite this history, finding a mate through some form of media has maintained a “desperate” image – as if the person seeking is unable to find someone to have them locally. The Internet, even with its reputation for “adult” sites has somehow managed to remove some of the stigma, and there is now a healthy and steadily growing international dating scene.

The big question is always “Can international dating lead to anything permanent”? The answer to this is a resounding YES! Many people are prepared to take a chance on love, and move themselves and their lives to be closer to their overseas loved one. Those who do this find that they are suddenly face-to-face on a daily basis with the name they’ve been typing too for a period of time, learning how to co-habit with someone who is physically a stranger, whilst at the same time learning how to handle living in a new country. By far the worst of this is being removed from family, and taking the place of communicating with your partner online, you now spend your time communicating with your family online instead!

There are still many people who regard international dating as desperate, and deem any relationship that comes of such an enterprise to be a failure waiting to happen. Ok, so it might happen, but there are never any guarantees in the love and romance game. Even if you shared a sandbox with the partner you marry, there’s no guarantee that the flame wont go out and one day you’ll wake up and find you have nothing in common with the person who shares your life, your home, your bed. In the best of situations, things go wrong. If the relationship came from an exercise in internet dating, the fallout is messier because then someone is left in a strange country with little by way of personal support system. They then face the situation of either toughing it out in their new country if the local immigration laws permit, or they can return to their homeland and face unemployment amidst the “I told you so” looks of friends.

For every naysayer on whether international dating can turn into a permanent loving relationship, there are two people who can stand together and say “It can work. We are proof of it!”

Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship, or just a little cultural difference, internet dating can offer you the opportunity to meet up with potential partners who may just be the person you’ve spent your life seeking!


About the Author:

Looking for information about Dating? Go to: http://www.datingpr.com 'Dating PR - Everything About Dating On The Net!' is published by Angela Davis - The Complete A to Z Of Dating Resources Check out more Dating articles at: http://www.datingpr.com/articles

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How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Let’s admit it. Long distance relationships are far from easy. It is a sacrifice. You have to be able to transcend the loneliness caused by the distance and the paranioa caused by knowing he's so far away. And you should bear with the things that compose long distance relationships. Once you have decided to get into it, and decided to never let go of each other despite the distance between you and your partner, then congratulate yourself as it takes a great amount of maturity to be able to face this “struggle”.

Long distance relationships are full of twists and turns. You have to be patient in waiting for the time when you and your partner will meet again. You will spend most of your time missing him or her, wondering what he or she’s been doing right that very moment. Spend memorable events in your lives without him or her beside you, thinking and worrying about the never ending “what ifs”. As I have said, Long distance relationships are never easy. But mind you, if both of you gets through the blocks, then it is all worth it. Once the moment came when you will see each other again, the pains are just distant memory. But once again, the pain of saying bye-bye time is still there.

In most cases where lovers stick to long distance relationships, the sweetness of each moments being shared are amazing. Some of the people I knew that have been to long distance relationships are now blissfully living together. One of them got married just a few weeks from now. The girl spent her college days in Michigan, and her fiancée is working in New Jersey. So they only have the chance to be in each other’s arms during occasions like Christmas,

Thanksgiving, Spring breaks, and summer. Yet, look at them now. They are now married, working together in the same city and now planning to have a baby.

There are important factors in maintaining healthy long distance relationships:First and foremost, both partners involved in long distance relationships should have mutual feelings to each other. That’s the very basic. Because long distance relationships won’t work if the two of you are not greatly inlove, you will just be fooling yourselves.

And of course, love comes together with commitment. Both of you should be committed with each other, that you will be bonded by the love you have disregarding the distance between you and your partner and whatever the struggles may come.

Trust and faith also comes together as the third factor and also the most important. Distance between each other may cause you to worry so much. It brought unhealthy and depressing thoughts about your partner. But once you have trust and faith, long distance relationships will never be wasted.

Lastly, both of you should be mature enough to handle long distance relationships. Long distance relationships won’t work with people who are childish. It will just drive your partner crazy.

Albeit long distance relationships are as good as dreams, people who have gone through it have their own interesting stories to share. And most of them have succeeded the hardships of being involved in long distance relationships. It only proves that if they can do it, why can’t you? You will discover that long distance relationships are even more advantageous and exciting than the usual relationship where you get to see your partner any time you want. Remember the saying, absence makes the heart go fonder? It is true indeed for people who get involved in long distance relationships. Just bear in mind the factors that both of you should possess, and everything will be all right.

About the Author:

Relationship Tips is your one stop for relationship advice.
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Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Unconditional Love from a Distance

I was sitting with Casey in a coffee shop as she struggled to hold back tears. She was desperately trying to figure out how she was going to tell her husband. Her younger sister Amy, who had been in a very physically abusive relationship had decided to leave her boyfriend about six months earlier. Cacey and her husband emptied their savings account so Casey could fly across the country and help get Amy relocated to back to their home state. They set her up in a condo and got her back on her feet. Amy had walked a couple of times before and had always gone back to him. However, Cacey thought that by moving her across the country Amy would stay away from him for good. This morning Cacey had got a phone call from Amy. Amy was at the airport, on her way back to Florida, back to him, again...

If we were nothing but souls we would say to each other, I'll love you and you can love me and that's what we will do for each other. However, unfortunately we are walking around in bodies, bound by ego, and sometimes what we say to each other is much different. Sometimes, it seems more like, Help me play out my dramas, watch me hurt other people and hurt myself, tell me it's OK, to prove to me you love me.

The greatest gift you can give another person is your unconditional love. But sometimes, the hardest lesson of love to learn is that love and judgment cannot live in the same place. When you are trying to love someone, but being a part of their life, or their drama causes you to judge them, right or wrong, or are no longer really loving them and sometimes you simply have to step away from them to offer them your gift, your unconditional love. Sometimes you have to love the people you love the most from a distance.

From a vibrational, feel good place, love is always the better choice. In the spirit of Aloha, to love it to be happy with. Being happy is a feel good place and feeling good always leaves us energized. When we are interacting with anyone that we are judging poorly, love has simply gone away. When that someone is a soul that we are deeply attached to detaching is a frightening proposition. However, if we are to continue to love, sometimes it's the only path.

Fast forward six months. Cacey got her first phone call from Amy since she'd left. She called me and asked me to meet her for coffee. Amy had gotten a job in Florida immediately upon returning working for a marine broker. Trying to be smarter then before, she'd saved money just in case. Amy was flying back in on Tuesday. "What do you think will be different about this time?" I asked. Cacey smiled softly as she pulled out paint sample sheets from her purse. They were pink and blue.

"He's in jail. She decided she wouldn't let him hurt the baby. She's coming home. We are painting a nursery this weekend. Greg is excited to see her."

Cacey was able step back and love Amy with all her heart without putting herself in a place where she knew she would judge her. Cacey did not allow herself to get back into the drama, but she didn't love her any less. Cacey did not allude to Amy she supported her bad decision making any longer. She simply stepped away~she got really peaceful about it. Cacey stopped taking her anti-anxiety medication and got over her ulcer. Even without Cacey there Amy knew how much she was loved. Even from a distance she felt it. When she was ready she knew the unconditional love would be there for her.

And that's what it's all about.... Aloha.

www.moderngirlsguidetozen.com

Lisa Hayes is a mind, body, soul, practitioner who views the person as a whole - With meditation for the mind Yoga for the body and as an ordained minister, for the soul, Lisa works with women to help them achieve peace and bliss in the chaos of their every day lives.

Lisa is also a partner in an independent technology firm and is a single mother of a teenage boy, so she understands chaos. Chaos is a part of everyday life. It is a part of the contrast of life that makes the zen seem so much more precious.

Lisa began the pursuit of the healing arts more than fifteen years ago when she completed her degree in natural health and nutrition. She continued that path as a yoga and meditation instructor before becoming a life coach.

Lisa believes that zen is our basic nature. All we have to do is release it. She has dedicated herself to assisting women in finding whatever tools work best for them individually to become their most blissful and beautiful selves.

To contact Lisa email her at lisa@moderngirlsguidetozen.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_Hayes

Brown gets dunked (Orlando Sentinel)His brief, turbulent stop as Knicks coach is finished, but battle over his $40M deal has just begun; Isiah will coach last-place team he built GREENBURGH, N.Y. - Larry Brown's happy homecoming to the team he loved as a youth in Long Beach ended after almost 11 controversial months when Knicks owner James Dolan fired him "for cause" yesterday after a meeting at the team's training facility in

Zambia: Gravity Powered Aeroplane (AllAfrica.com)You might be wondering why this column has been broadcasting about fuel technology. Because this is the year of the environment. This is the year dedicated to finding a solution to global warming that is depleting our ozone layer.

Route 66 diary (Los Angeles Daily News)The morning came hot and early as I pulled myself out of bed, ready to take the trip on old Route 66. I probably should have had breakfast, but instead, I washed my car. In California, it's better to look good and go hungry than to leave with one's appearance askew.

Who Should Relocate In A Long Distance Relationship?

My Dear Lover,

Soon or later, you and your beloved will have to take the decision of who should move, because it is very hard to live apart.

Moving will change your life drastically, you should what you and beloved really wants from life, you need to communicate, communicate and communicate until you arrive to a very clear understanding about your expectations, It is your future.

Here are some questions to help you make the decision.

Will you have to "give up" of your domestic animals? Does your beloved love having cats, dogs, birds, etc. at home?

Any of you already have children? How well will they accept living together, now as a new family? There are good schools for them in the new place? They like the new place? How about their friends, they accept being apart from them? Can they keep their current activities, like sport, etc. in the new place?

Are you moving far away from your family? If you are a kind of person that is very close to your family, it will be very hard not. to be with them so often. Maybe your parents are "old" and need your assistance. You have the right to build your life, your happiness, your love, but I think it isn't fair to leave your parents alone most of the time, when they most need your help. And if you already have children, can they live far away from their actual family? They are willing to have a new family?

If you are divorced and your ex lives near to you, will he accept your new mate? After all he comes from "nowhere", and almost from one day to another, he is already living with you.Of course you can't let your ex be the main reason for you to live your life, where you want, and with who you want, but if your ex is a kind of person that don't accept that you have a new mate, you need to be prepared to deal with that.

Can you live in the new area, possibly, for the rest of your life? Do you like the weather? The culture? If you are an urban lover and will move to a rural area, can you live with that, or will you miss the urban live too much?If you are a kind of person that can adapt very easy to new environments, this is no problem at all, but if you are not, and decide to move, you will need all the help, understanding and support from your beloved, for the more "difficult" phases, be aware that he knows that. Do you really know the new area, or you have been there before, only for a couple of weeks in romantic holidays? Try to know better the new area, if you can spend more time there and not. only when both of you are in holidays, before you move forever.

God forgive me, but if things don't go well between you, and you decide to you should end your relation, after you move, will you come back to your old home, or will you live in the new area? Can you live there, without the support of your family and old friends? It will be a very difficult time for you.

Well, with all these questions, it might seem to you, that this is a very difficult decision to make.It is a big decision that will change your life forever, you need to be very clear about your expectations.

But my most important advice to you is to listen to your heart.

True love is so precious and can overcome any difficult.

About The Author
Maria Madeira

Are you struggling with the loneliness of your long distance relationship? Don't let it tear you apart!

My name is Maria Madeira, and just like you, I am in a Long Distance Relationship since 2003. Since then, I have been in all stages of Long Distance Relationship.

I know, exactly! what you are feeling! Let me help YOU!

Get my free e-course to help you bridge the distance, at http://www.distancelovinghelp.com, "The Most Heart To Heart Long Distance Relationship Web Site Of All Internet".

Jay-Z Boycotts Cristal (Pitchfork)You know what this is? It's a boycott, bitches! According to the Associated Press, Jay-Z has decided to boycott popular champagne brand/universal status symbol Cristal because of comments made by Fr??d??ric Rouzaud, managing director of the Louis Roederer winery that produces the beverage.

Hooters Hopes for a Favorable Appeal Shot Down by Florida Lawyer Defending Rival Chain Ker?s Winghouse (PR Web)Florida Litigation Attorney Don Conwell Successfully Defends Hooters Rival Ker?s Winghouse in Lawsuit Appeal filed by the Hooters Restaurant Chain. (PRWEB Jun 20, 2006)

National Catholic Reporter (National Catholic Reporter)Hundreds of jobs -- professional, administrative, clerical, ministerial and even some secular -- are filled through NCR Classifieds each year.

Long Distance Relationships Suffer During Troop Deployment

Marriage is an unheralded victim of war especially when husbands and wives are still struggling to build a healthy relationship when the military partner is re-assigned. A long distance relationship then ensues which is a delicate balance of two people's emotions, expectations and trust.

A marriage with cracks can be split wide open by prolonged separation when a spouse is shipped overseas.

No one knows that better than Commander Bobbitti May, a U.S. Navy chaplain who is among the five experts in the much acclaimed book, The Marriage Medics. www.themarriagemedics.com

The Marriage Medics, (ISBN- 0-9760844-0-6) by Cynthia Cooper Ph.D. shares the reasons why some couples fall head-first into divorce and others walk away restored and emotionally healthy. Couples who rescue their relationships seem to do so by using a network of support.

The Marriage Medics collects your ideal relationship support network into a single book. Each of the five experts contributing to the book has seen hundreds of divorces from their unique professional perspective, and each knows exactly what factors can determine success or failure.

In The Marriage Medics Commander May sheds light on the spiritual aspects of marriage, taking an ecumenical approach to a subject that many couples struggle with.

May earned a Master of Divinity from Shaw Divinity School in North Carolina. From 1973-79, May was an officer and pilot in the Marine Corps. He joined the Navy in 1983 as a chaplain and continues in that role to this day.

In any marriage, Commander May says, Each couple is going to have to find its spiritual center and define it within the context of the relationship. This process will require dialogue, conflict resolution skills, listening skills, and negotiation.

In Commander May's experience, the issue that most often causes marriages to fail is trust. It doesn't matter what the issue is, if the trust is broken, the marriage suffers. If the trust isn't rebuilt, the marriage fails.

Free tips on saving a marriage and strengthening a long distance relationship are available at www.themarriagemedics.com. Simply fill the two line form and every few days dozens of practical well thought out tips will be emailed. Here are samples of the free tips:

The Three A's Produce Resentment: Unspoken resentments can grow out of "The Three A's"--addiction (be it to drugs, alcohol, or TV), affairs, and abuse. Cooper points out that such dysfunctions can be alleviated by various means including identifying the problem, learning how to handle emotions, and clinical therapy.

Money. Some 43% of all married couples argue over money, making it the No. 1 reason husbands and wives fight. The alternative, says veteran banker Daniel Smith, is for couples to realize that managing finances in a household is like running a business. Spouses should stop living beyond their means, forget about "keeping up with the Joneses, agree on a financial plan, go on a credit-card "diet"--and celebrate when they pay off a debt!

Many of the strategies couples use to create happiness and peace seem rather straightforward and they are. Remember it does not require genius to build a happy marriage. A simple person with commitment will do.

Listen closely when your spouse is talking. It's a sign of respect. Give your undivided attention. Nod in agreement occasionally it tells your partner you are listening.

Remove the words I told you so from your vocabulary because it automatically creates resentment and anger. When you are proven right after an argument, your spouse will know this and so there's no need to point it out.

Seek Freshness: There is a truism: Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. If you're struggling, you need to try something new, but that doesn't necessarily mean a new wife or a new husband. Discover something new in yourself so you can discover something new in your mate that you've never seen before.

These and other helpful constructive tips are available free of charge by visiting www.themarriagemedics.com.

The experts who contributed to The Marriage Medics are:

Cynthia Cooper is a clinical psychotherapist who has counseled couples and families for decades on how better to communicate and relate to each other. She possesses a doctoral degree in clinical psychology, human science research and education, a specialist degree in humanistic psychology, human science research and education, and a Master of Science degree in clinical psychology.

Commander Bobbitti May, U.S. Navy chaplain, counsels military personnel who are separated due to longtime oversees assignments, helping them with the spiritual aspects of marriage, taking an ecumenical approach to a subject that many couples struggle with.

Dr. Patti Britton is a nationally recognized, board-certified clinical sexologist and sexuality educator. Her insights have been featured in Ladies Home Journal, Penthouse, Maxim, iVillage.com and Cosmopolitan to name a few. For more than two decades she has coached thousands of women and men on how to overcome the sexual challenges they may face.

John Hunt, a Las Vegas attorney who specializes in family law, warns couples what they will face if they decide to divorce. Hunt gives practical advice on how to reduce the legal pain as much as possible.

Dan Smith, a banking executive with Republic Bank in Southeast Michigan, has a perspective on how money affects a marriage gained from decades of helping couples re-mortgage their houses to divide assets in divorces.

The Marriage Medics comes highly recommended by reviewer Jennie S. Bev, managing editor of BookReviewClub.com who says the book teaches couples what to expect realistically from their partners --and themselves-- and how to act, also realistically when it comes to sustaining their marriages. It's like having a knowledgeable friend who knows the ins and outs of the married life.

Tami Brady of the Blether Book Review says Though The Marriage Medic is meant mainly for those couples with marital difficulties, much of the information included in this book will be helpful to any couple. This is particularly true of the sections on communications, vision of the relationship, underlying resentments, and gender roles. These issues and hints relate directly to nearly any relationship and therefore will be of value to almost any reader.

The Marriage Medics can be purchased online at: www.themarriagemedics.com

About The Author


Scott Lorenz, is President of Westwind Communications, a public relations and book marketing firm. Lorenz has handled public relations and marketing for numerous authors, doctors, lawyers, authors inventors and entrepreneurs since 1980 and is an integral part of the strategy for many authors in their own book marketing. Learn more about Westwind Communications book marketing approach at www.westwindcos.com/book or contact Lorenz at scottlorenz@westwindcos.com or by phone at 734-667-2090.

scottac236@themarriagemedics.com

Rogers a diamond in the rough (MLB.com)Rogers a diamond in the rough

Born Agian to Be Wild (Seven Days)The sight of motorcyclists in black leather traversing Vermont is common this time of year. Many of us imagine them as rebels, mavericks, members of biker gangs. But not all of them are Hell's Angels. Some of these dark riders are evangelical Christians biking for Jesus.

What Is Wrong With You?

My Dear Lover,

In most of the long distance relationships the time you are apart is bigger than the time you are together, and probably you will be between being together and being apart more than once in your distance relationship.

And I can tell you, because I have been there more than once, that the experience of being apart after being together, is one of the most difficult periods in a long distance relationship. It make us feel so horrible, that sometimes we wonder "what is wrong with me? Why do I feel like this?".

Each time we go apart again, mainly three emotional phases happens (Protest, Depression and Detachment).

While you were together, you were inseparable, took long walks together and made all moments count, but now is arriving the time your beloved as to go away.

It's like something triggers inside you, that say that your beloved is leaving, and you start the first phase, the Protest.

You fight against the separation in all the ways you can.

You feel terrible, you cry without control, some will be angry with "life", or even with their beloved, some will hold and kiss each other like you will never see each other again.

And even at the last moment, when you are at airport, you will ignore the last calling of the departure, until you finally realize your beloved really have to leave. Did you ever did this? I did!

But no matter how much you protest to prevent the separation, you are apart again.

Now comes the second emotional phase of separation, the Depression.

You can't stop crying, you miss your beloved like hell, you can't sleep, can't eat, lose interest for things, you can't concentrate in anything, and all you want is to be together with your beloved all time. And that is natural reaction when you love somebody so much.

This phase of depression and loneliness can last only some minutes, but in most cases it will last for several days.

Finally comes the last phase, the Detachment.

You have to continue with your life, even being apart from your beloved, and being depressed won't bring your beloved back.

And finally the day that you will be together again arrives, and probably, you will have to go throughout the phases of separation again and again!

So now that you understand "what's wrong with you?" each time you have to go through the process of separation, does it means that you can't do nothing about it?

No, no and no, keep reading and I will show you my advices.

But remember, it's a fact that no matter how many times you go by the experience of separation again and again, nothing eliminates this three phases. The only thing you can do is to realize their existence, understand each phase, and take action so you can make this experience more "soft".

But do you want to know something very interesting?

It is not only me and you and all the people that are living a Long Distance Relationship, that goes by the Protest, Depression and Detachment emotional phases, each time we go apart again.

Dr. Gregory Guldner, of the National Institute for Building Long Distance Relationships, shows in his book "Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide", that puppies also "feel" the same as us.

According to Dr. Guldner, "Although it's difficult to apply conclusions from research done on animals to the emotions described in humans, I've found that the reactions of the pups are strikingly similar to the reactions of many of those in LDRs."

And he continues, "When the researchers removed the mother dog from the kennel, the pups began to protest. They cried and ran around the kennel sometimes for hours and even days. Eventually the pups stopped protesting, but they began to behave as if they were depressed. They slept poorly, they lost their appetites, they stopped playing with toys in the kennel, they lost weight, and they withdrew from other dogs."

And more, "This pattern of protesting the separation, then behaving depressed, then developing some emotional distance, seemed to represent the usual reaction of the pups to separation. Because these reactions occur very early in the lives of the pups, there is good reason to believe that the sequence of emotions may even be programmed to help them survive."

And he states that, " Researchers speculate that the sequence of separation, protest, depression, and detachment may reflect an almost automatic protective reflex in many mammals. How much of this reflex remains in us humans we don't know, but I think it unlikely that we have managed to escape it entirely. More likely, the emotional reactions remain, but we have learned to change the behavior they evoke." "But the emotional triggers that cause the pups to cry for days, and us to feel saddened by our partner's departure, remain deeply ingrained."

And as I told you before, it's a fact that no matter how many times you go by the experience of separation again and again, nothing eliminates this three phases. The only thing you can do is to realize their existence, understand each phase, and take action so you can make this experience more "soft".

And the advice's I am going to give you, comes from my personal experience, and from the help of 2 fantastic books, (you can find their references, at the end of this post) that I did buy, read and apply, that did in fact help me a lot living again and again the experience of being apart again and again.

So my advice's to help you in the phase of Protest (when you fight against the separation in all the ways you can) are:

- Spend the morning or afternoon before your beloved leaves, with friends. Do something active, to keep your minds "off" of that moment, and avoid being alone, crying all the time.

- Don't focus on the pain of being apart again, focus on the pleasure. How bliss you are for loving and be loved. And you will not be apart forever.

- If it is too hard for you to take your beloved at the departure place, like to the airport, and stay together as long as possible, then either say goodbye at your home and let your beloved take a taxi to the airport, or take your beloved at airport but say goodbye in the car.

My advice's to help you in the phase of Depression are:

- Let out the emotions, cry, scream. Give permission yourself to be "depressed"(but not for long time!), but please please please don't make yourself miserable.

- Surround yourself with friends and family that can give you all the support you need, and don't be alone at your room crying all time.

- Go to work, go to gym, set goals like getting in shape, and stay active. Go to a comedy movie to make you laugh!

- Don't focus on how long your beloved will be away. Take comfort in the fact that you are not really alone, only separated by space.

My advices to the phase of Detachment are:

- Detach yourself of the "pain" of being apart again, but please don't detach from your beloved. Keep strong communication with your beloved. Nowadays we are so lucky to have all the technology to make staying in touch so easy, like phone, text messaging, email, faxes, web cams, etc.

- Don't make the separation between you and your beloved an obstacle, see as an opportunity to grow.

My Dear Lover, face your feelings, understand them and learn to live with them. I know it is easier to speak than do, because to me, one of the most difficult things in a Long Distance Relationship, is this emotional phases of separation.

But I am learning, and getting better each time, and very soon it will arrive the time when there will be no more go away again. And the same will happen to you.

Be strong , you are not ALONE!!!
About The Author


Maria Madeira

Are you struggling with the loneliness of your long distance relationship? Don't let it tear you apart!

My name is Maria Madeira, and just like you, I am in a Long Distance Relationship since 2003. Since then, I have been in all stages of Long Distance Relationship.

I know, exactly! what you are feeling! Let me help YOU!

Get my free e-course to help you bridge the distance, at http://www.distancelovinghelp.com, "The Most Heart To Heart Long Distance Relationship Web Site Of All Internet".

Some Genetic Research Is Best Done Close To The Evolutionary Home (Science Daily)Some aspects of evolution are like the real estate business in that it's all about location, location, location! Researchers with the U.S. Department of Energy's Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) and the DOE Joint Genome Institute (DOE JGI) have shown that when it comes to comparing evolutionarily conserved DNA sequences that regulate the expression of genes, more closely

Feature and TV Films (Calendarlive.com)* An alphabetical listing of movies on TV this week, with ratings and showtimes, June 25-July 2. Abe Lincoln in Illinois (1940) Raymond Massey, Gene Lockhart. Over the space of 30 years, young Abraham Lincoln goes from storekeeper to backwoods lawyer to suitor to president of the United States.

Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work

Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. You watch other couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, kissing, etc., everyday and you can't do anything but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you keep on loving someone if you can't even see them?

The answer is...it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work.

1. COMMUNICATION is the key.

In every relationship, whether near or far, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to quiver until it eventually dies a natural death. That's why in any given circumstance, communication has to be given utmost importance. There are so many available media to ensure that the communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These media can be effective means to convey your hearts desires to your loved ones. Let them know about what you've been doing and thinking because in that way they will feel like they are there with you. This will also help you feel close even though you are miles apart.

2. Send off CARE PACKAGES.

It can be anything -- a little gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you designed artistically into a scrapbook; or your sweetheart's favorite jewelry -- it's really only limited to your imagination. Engaging yourself in this way is beneficial for both of you. You get to concentrate on gathering these items and putting them together, thus keeping your mind off not being together to a certain extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it is nothing more than a card,it shows they mean enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes much money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!

3. Keep yourself BUSY.

You couldn't just sit there and wait 'til he comes back to you. What if he doesn't come back at all and all you did was sit and get your tummy flabby, won't that make you just miserable? You won't just be stunting your growth as an individual in the process but you'd also be developing emotional insecurities. In order to avoid that, you have to focus yourself on other things while waiting. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books which can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to lounge before your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things over the internet. It's an endless "ways-to-make-yourself-busy" list and it is up to you to decide whichever you're interested to get involved in. But remember, being "busy" is not an excuse to forget your "special days" and worse yet, your loved one. You're doing it not just to occupy yourself but also to allow yourself to grow even with your lover's absence.

4. HONESTY is the best policy.

The path to true intimacy and connection especially in a long distance relationship is through "total honesty" to each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your full truth to your loved one about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, boundaries, etc., you are gradually building up a zone of confidence and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Seeking to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a while but it won't take much time until your suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, "acting out," etc. I know, sometimes, telling your whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship that you really want-- a relationship where all the cards are laid in the table.

5. The value of TRUST

Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That is because having trust in a relationship takes away doubt. When you trust someone you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is solid. You must learn to be true to the relationship and must never give way to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick impulses because these will only bring your relationship down. Don't push away negative comments, or advice. Just trust in yourself and your partner. If you two are true to each other and have no hidden motives then you'll be alright. Remember "Love never fails."

6. COMMITMENT is a habit not an achievement

In every relationship, it is a must to be able to learn how to commit and be committed. For most long distance relationships, the very reason why they fail is because both parties couldn't go on with the commitment and they feel too weak to withstand the tribulations of time.If you have committed yourselves to each other without shilly-shallying, then you have a good promise ahead of you.Your comitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.

7. PATIENCE is a virtue.

Being in a long distance relationship requires being steadfast and persevering. If you aren't this kind of person and you're involved in a long distance relationship, then as much as now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give your hopes up. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to work patiently through it will let them know you truly love them.

8. WEBCAM

This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home.But for those who don't, there are computers-for-rent in cafe's with webcams already attached to the computer system. Having a webcam is actually very fun and exciting. Even if you aren't together but looking at each other's face in the broad screen makes you feel like you're just so close, so near to your loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with smileys and it's melting my heart to see him smile in the cam when he gets my messages.

9. Make special occasions SPECIAL.

It is not everyday that a special day comes so when it does, it must be celebrated no matter how far apart you are. When I speak of special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day. During these occasions, you can plan out some heavy-duty phone call or an extended online time for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a couple times a week, be sure you both carve out some time for that particular night. If you're too stingy to settle on a lengthy phone call, but have cheap and unlimited online access, plan to send instant messages to each other or meet in a private chatroom somewhere. If you can't be together, at least you can be "talking" and "spending some private moments together".

10. ENJOY LIFE!

Not because your loved one is away, it doesn't mean that your "life" is taken away with him as he sets on for greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it up to the purpose you were created for, with or without your loved one.Anyway, we have our family and friends. What are these social beings surrounding us created for anyway?

Remember,there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style but it is important that those who thrive in a long distance relationship see the suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools in cultivating their love and rearing up the maturity in their relationship. The best you can do is to strive to be the best of who you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you are already a full-grown individual whom he will love even more and be more proud of more than ever! For now, just be happy in knowing that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, they are willing to engage in a terrible thing such as a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever since your loved one will be back soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was back then.

About The Author


Rachelle Arlin Credo is an entrepreneur and relationship coach. She also works as an image consultant and part-time writer. Her stories, articles, essays and poetry have been published in various magazines and online publications.

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Should You Date Others During Your Long Distance Relationship?

My Dear Lover,

Today I want to share with you the facts, and also my advice about something you probably ask yourself a lot of times:

"Should" I Date Others During My Long Distance Relationship?

Well, first I will give you some facts (scientific facts!) and then I will give my personal advice to you.

Dr. Gregory Guldner his the leading authority on long distance relationships and the author of the most comprehensive study of long distance relationships ever completed, "Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide".
He is is a graduate of Stanford Medical School and Purdue University's Clinical Psychology Program and he combines his scientific expertise,interviews with hundreds of couples in
long distance relationships and his own personal experience into this comprehensive book.

Ok, now that you know who Dr. Gregory Guldner is, I will give you the scientific facts about Dating Others During an LDR.

Dr. Gregory Guldner made 2 studies, and here are his results:
6-month longitudinal study:

- 30% of couples who dated others broke up
- 27% of couples who did not broke up
- 70% of couples who did not discuss this issue broke up.

Cross sectional study:

- 15% of those who dated others survived LDR
- 48% of those who didn't survived LDR

Humm, to much scientific! you will say.
Ok, let me explain to you the meaning of those numbers:

In the first study: the 6-month longitudinal study we can see that:

The Long Distance Relationship couples that dated others, in a period of 6 months, 30% of them broke up.

In the Long Distance Relationship couples that did not dated
others, in a period of 6 months, 27% of them broke up.

And notice this, 70% of couples who did not discuss this issue broke up!

In the second study: "Cross sectional study", the relationships that at one point were long distance (like the one you and me are living now), but that now are reunited (the thing you and me want more) as planned, we can see that:

Only 15% of those who dated others survived LDR and 48% of those who didn't survived LDR.

The conclusion we can take is that for "kind of" short periods of time, like six months, it doesn't make to much difference for the success of the Long Distance Relationship, to date others.
What makes the difference here is not being clear and honest
with the Long Distance Partner, 70% of couples who did not discuss this issue broke up!

Now, for long periods of time, dating others is very very danger for the success of your Long Distance Relationship! Only 15% survived LDR!

But, what makes you "want" to date others while you are in your Long Distance Relationship?

Is the lake of sex? Is because you like to feel close with another person?

Weel Long Distance Relationships can be sexually satisfying
as Close Relationships!

What you need to do is to know how to "make love" at telephone or to write erotic letters, or send erotic pictures or videos to your beloved.

Now about my own experience?
Do you think that because I am in a Long Distance Relationship I don't feel sexually attracted by others? Of course I do!

But do I consider the idea of me dating others while I am in my Long Distance Relationships?

No, no, no.

Let me tell you something. At my job there is a man,that I don't know to explain this, but between me and him there is such a strong sexual chemistry.

And believe me, between me and my Long Distance Partner, there is also a strong sexual chemistry, but I think if I made sex with that man from my job, I guess I would be something even stronger than I have with my Long Distance Partner.

But do you think that will ever make sex with that man from my job?

Never!

First I really love with all my heart my Long Distance Partner, he is without any doubt the "true love" of my life. And a relationship is much more than sex, and you also now that very well!

Second I don't feel that I have sexual insatisfaction in my Long Distance Relationship.
I do use what I "learn" from several resources that you can find in internet, and that you can find in my website.

Now, with this, I am not saying that I agree or disagree with the ones that make the choice of Dating Others while they are in a Long Distance Relationship.

It's your choice, and now, you have also the numbers of the scientific study of Dr. Gregory Guldner and also my advice and my experience.


Don't measure the distance, measure the Love, Maria Madeira.

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